Do you ever find yourself asking the question “What am I doing here?” – It could be in relation to where you live, your job, what’s happening in your life, a relationship perhaps, whatever it is, you must have asked yourself once “What am I doing here, what is my purpose?”.
Yeah, it’s another on of those posts.
Lately I have found myself asking this question not once, but once every few days, and then once a day, and then all the time.. You get the point. I’ve been questioning my place in this world, and more importantly what I am doing with it and how it make me feel, and I’ve come to the decision that I am not happy. Haven’t been for a good while, and now is the time to get started on trying to change things so I can find the elusive happiness and so that others can see me happy, whatever happy happens to be to me in this world in which we live.
I’ve made a start, the details I won’t go into at this time. But the time is now. I have made a start, and it’s tough, but it should be, I never wanted this easy. – It would be nice for me to be able to walk through open doors when they present themselves without a worry, without any ties to bind me. Particularly now. Things here are settled after the last 18 months of turmoil. The irony that slaps me silly every morning is the very thing that is now stopping me from scaling these walls are the one thing I have always denied being in the game for. That one thing is money, and the lack thereof of it. For once I’ve had the luck, timing and correct skills & attitude and importantly, confidence to get me to where I want to be, to the start of something and I am being actively denied now by money.
I’ll try my hardest over these next two months to get what I need to get to where I want to be, so I can feel like I can take my chance for change. If I cannot do it then as with each and everyone of us, I’ll take up a subscription to the ‘it wasn’t meant to be’ channel and find something else to move on to. But if I hadn’t have tried at all, I’d always be asking the question, that question which has plagued me since University, and long before that… “What if?”.
This post wasn’t going to be about this, so I’ll move on and bury my actual reason for posting this time next. China. What the hell happened in China? They will never allow the truth to be broadcast by western networks, and never allow independents in to see for themselves, so we rely upon state media to feed us whatever they want. – At least that is what we would believe if we didn’t have the internet. I have seen more news and more updates on non-official channels (in the greater than TV sense of the word) in the past week than I have seen across all broadcast and print media in the UK at least. Take a closer look at the footage, there is simply no way that those were conventional explosions. Look at the blast site, it doesn’t take a genius to see the pattern of destruction there. Look at the ever-growing reports of fatalities, this will get worse before any hope of things getting better. Look behind the iron curtain. We’ll never get to know the truth officially. Too much is at stake, National security, the devaluation of currency, public panic etc. Too many questions will remain unanswered, like with other world market events such as, such as, such as. These are dangerous times with constant threats from so-called ISIS and the other terrorist networks we have – on our watch – allowed to draw in ‘supporters’ and co-exist in our lifetime. Freedom of speech is a wonderful concept, but it is just a concept in this world. Freedom of press is the same, freedom of thought is the next medium for control.
That is all.